This week has been hard. I am trying to start a new career as a health coach. I just graduated from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and received my license, except, I got sick. My son gave me a sinus infection and pink eye. Then he got to go to a Lego camp with Dad while I slept all day for most of the week and recovered. Sometimes I hate that my body won’t keep up with my will. Me home alone and sick and sleeping a lot equals depression, which is not something I want to admit to, much less write about, but there it is. I get depressed. I am lonely and I feel really useless. It doesn’t help that my son comments on how I am “finally useful” when I manage to cut up the watermelon for them, or when they come home and nothing has changed. I want to be and do more, but sometimes you just have to go with sick and tired.
I realized during this week of pity partying that soon school will start and I will again be alone with myself and my thoughts for most of the day. I don’t know what my purpose is. I can’t get a full-time job, because I am disabled, I like blogging, but don’t live a very interesting life so sometimes there really isn’t anything to write about. I used to be the mom to a kid who needed me a lot, now he is independent and only needs me sometimes. I do side jobs and little things, but nothing that defines my day, or requires me to stick to a schedule of any kind. I will be happy to go back to my yoga classes when school starts, and hopefully realize some of my blogging goals and desires, but really I don’t have an anchoring purpose that defines my life and day. I am just drifting and therefore the title. I am bored to tears. What to do? I will let you know when I figure it out.
2 thoughts on “Bored to Tears”
Thanks, I forget that most days, and oftentimes it seems like my family doesn’t need me. I know that they do, but they seem to get along great even when I am sick and have to sleep a lot. It is hard knowing they’ve developed that independence. I like the extras. Mostly I just need to learn to be home alone again since I’ve had them home almost all summer.
Your job is to love and support your family. Everything else is just extra. 🙂